(GM) Grand Master/Mistress - Chia Pussy

The head wanker. The chairman of the board. Keeper of Secrets. The pack is led (or misled) by the Grand Master or Grand Mistress (aka GM), in line with the general tradition of minimum organization. However, this is a facade, as there is indeed much that has to be organized when it comes to reining in bi-weekly chaos and planning special events. Most of this is accomplished by delegating to the other Mismanagement officers, however the GM stands in as substitute or back up for the duties of all the other positions when needed. A successful GM makes these chores seem transparent to the pack, but it is much work nevertheless. The GM calls periodic meetings and bails the hash out of trouble at times.

(Responsibilities- Ensuring the kennel runs smoothly, taking on the responsibilities of positions that are not covered if necessary)

(GMA)— Grand Master/Mistress Ass - Bitch Handler

Sometimes known as the Great Pretender since (S)he pretends to be the GM and/or RA when the GM and/or RA aren’t able to preside over the post-trail ceremonies in the circle. Must be astute in acting officious and tight-arsed. Secretly makes money by producing diamonds from charcoal briquettes. No one knows exactly how…

(Responsibilities - Assisting the GM on Kennel dynamics)

Web Master / On Sec (aka Cyberwank) ) - Grape Gape

Handles all the web site and social media crap. Often accused of being all too familiar with the term “c:”. Sports a pasty white complexion from all those long hours indoors. Gets sunburn from anything brighter than a 60 watt bulb.

(Responsibilities- Posting Events on Meetup, Information Messenger group, and events on web site. Editing website when needed. Keeping Ledger and Trail Status updated)

Beer Meister — Happy Meal

This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. (S)He keeps constant vigilance to find the best deals available for beer, always has coolers in the trunk of his/her car, cases of beer in his/her garage, and reliably returns the empty keg to get a full refund on the deposit. Also makes sure that orange food (junk food/chips) is available after trail. Coordinates with Hares that need coolers for beer checks.

(Rsponsibilities - Purchasing beer,water and snacks making sure its at trail)

Hash Cash — Permanently Screwed

At the start of each hash collects the fees from all, takes down each name updates trail status and ledger, and provides reimbursement for the food or refreshments used at the hash. Hash Cash is responsible for protecting the Hash's assets and general accounting of the funds. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have overspent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and watch out for late-comers trying to dodge the fee.

(Responsibilities - Collecting money and distributing money to miss man where needed, communicating with on sec to make sure money is balanced)

(RA)—Religious Advisors - To-Kill-A Orgazem

Keeper of the HashShit. Enforcer of the traditions. (S)He runs circle . They are responsible for leading us in song, managing the chaos that is naming, as well as making sure that violators of hash traditions are punished with down-downs. It is best to avoid eye contact with them during circle. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA. (S)he is the keeper of the sacred Laws of Hashing and comes up with sufficiently plausible lies as a good story trumps the truth. When in the circle, the RA is always right, even when wrong.

(Responsibilities - Running Circle at trail)

Haberdashers - NYDP

This is a person who has a flair for fashion, a head for business (who said head?), and the showmanship of P.T. Barnum. (S)he's responsible for the design, procurement, warehousing, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred.

(Responsibilities - Purchasing and selling items for the Hash)

Hare Raiser — Pegachew

The Hare Raiser makes sure that there's a hare (or hares) for each hash, and updates the hare line on Facebook, making sure that hares know proper trail marks and locations. (S)He gets 'volunteers' to hare based on experience, matching new hares with a more experienced one. Handles any trail questions from Hares. Each hasher is expected to set a hash periodically. Trails should change geographical locations regularly to avoid overlapping (crossing) previous trails.

(Responsibilities - Making sure there are hares for each trail, creating events on Facebook)